Ball of light, just floating about
There’s no logic to this, no doubt,
All there is to this ball of light was it’s distinctive rays
“It shined bright as the sun”, that’s one way you could say.
One would say about the light is similar to the fish
An entity who swims freely around the damp forest, Swish. Swish. Swish.
This being is the terror of the forest floors
A hunter that catches it’s victims, feeling no remorse.
Big as a third of the trees but quiet as a mouse
It would creep up behind you and you’ll be served right to it’s mouth,
Apart from it’s size, the most intriguing was it’s eyes,
The tension is pressuring and chances are high but something about them, makes you wonder ‘What secrets lies’.
(Credits to Once upon a picture)
You did such a brill job at painting a picture in the readers mind. I like your choice of vocabulary as well! Maybe something you could work on is making sure the lines rhyme with each other at the ends, and also maybe checking on your punctuation (specifically your apostrophes).
Overall, amazing job! 🙂
Thank you Saniya! I’m glad that you enjoyed the poem and I very much appreciate the feedback; I’m very glad you pointed out the punctuation, that is something I think I need to work on. Thanks again!