Moment in time

It was high noon (no seriously it was) I was playing monopoly with my brother a very old version but still playable, we had totally forgot how to play, so we were fighting over the instructions sadly my brother got it(older sibling advantages), anyway besides the point our mother told us we couldn’t be on our devices the whole day so we decided the only fun thing to do with our time was play monopoly (not sure what it’s called but I’m just gonna call it by monopoly because it was). So we opened the dusty box and the game board was all wrinkly (I rubbed the dust on his hand, I’m really salty), my brother set up the board and started reading the instructions which sounded like complete gibberish. Anyway once he finished reading the instructions I quickly snatched the instructions away from him before he made it even more confusing. By the time I was done reading the instructions he had already set the board we knew the basic instructions of monopoly so we got used to it once we started playing, fast forward like 2 hours and me and my brother was still playing monopoly at this point we were both broke and kept paying each other the smallest amount and our board had like New Zealand landmarks and you know if you own some of them and a player lands on your property you have to pay them you know like the basics. Well that fateful day my brother landed on a property that I invested my whole monopoly currency in and kept telling me that it was a ‘bad idea’ and I kept telling him that one day he would land on it and he would need to sell half of his property just to even pay for my rent, but he ended up getting annoyed and got bankrupt I had officially won (younger siblings always win).

Another time when my brother was being annoying was during the holidays when we were eating dinner (we take ages to eat). We usually talk during dinner and I was trying to explain to him this game I played with my friends. My brother is the kind of person who would question if spring water from the supermarket is actually spring water from the springs, and yes this is what we argued about for that dinner. You know those countdown papers with their deals and stuff yea. We got the paper and questioned each other if we would buy that and drink/eat/use that there was spring water and so I told him I wanted the spring water then he questioned me saying why do you need spring water when we have water at home, and I said that it’s just water but a little bit more fancier and he said that it was a waste of money. Then I said I would have a different item then so I chose chicken (because chicken is good) and I got sidetracked, anyway as I was saying before I was explained this game I played with my friends that day and it was called the marshmallow game where you say 1 marshmallow then check-it out then woo! Then after woo it goes 2 marshmallow then the next person as well says 2 marshmallow and so on saying things twice, once you get to 3 marshmallow you say things three times and then 4 and then 5 and so on. Anyway, as I was saying, my brother asked why we needed to use the word marshmallow, check-it out and woo, I said I had no idea but it was just how the game went. He then questions me and when it is said I wanted to practise instead of using marshmallow or check-it out or even woo he used a, b and c, but by the time I was gonna question why he finished dinner and trotted away (I think I won??)

6 thoughts on “Moment in time

  1. Nice story, Kathleen!

    Nice way to display a first person perspective.

    Although, please remember to identify your paragraphs and sentences; parting them accordingly and using more full-stops. Your two big paragraphs could turn into maybe 4-6 concise paragraphs.

    Otherwise, well done.
    Sara Moussa

  2. I like how you used first person perspective in your writing.
    I also liked how you described in detail what you guys played and what you guys did.

    Something you could work on next time is spacing out your paragraphs or making them shorter, and using brackets not just for your opinion but to describe other things that aren’t really needed in the text!

    Overall your piece of writing was great 🙂

  3. Succeed: I love how funny this was even though this is work you’ve made it so entertaining and enjoyable! I laughed while reading this piece of writing.

    Nurture: I love how you made it so unserious and I just relate to this a lot!

    Grow: maybe next time make some more space between your writing.

  4. Your story was very entertaining
    You used a good choice of language and added in brackets that made it more enjoyable
    Something you might need to work on is when the brother is talking try to use quotation marks( “ ) so it is easier to read and it won’t be confusing. But everything else was accomplished successfully

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *