| Emma was a young girl who lived in Paris, France. Ever since Emma was 5 she wanted to participate in the Fifa women’s world cup.
She started playing for a community club somewhere in Paris and she got lots of good goals. She was training every opportunity she had and she was enjoying herself so much that she felt like she was dreaming and she never wanted to wake up. She always wanted help and advice from her coach and she always wanted to be the best that she could possibly be. Emma wasn’t very good at school but she did love it because she had her teammates and her best friend called ruby in the same class so she would chat away. At break times she would play more football and try to dribble past everyone. She would try to beat her PR (personal record) everyday whether it is dribbling past more people or scoring the most goals she would always manage to achieve higher than before. She loved school for one reason and that’s football. Emma was playing her rival team and she was ready to win but the captain of the rival team fouled and she tore her ACL and couldn’t play football any more. She was devastated but she kept her tears to herself and vowed to get better quickly. The next day the doctors said that she would not play football for more than 10 years just as he said that Emma collapsed and cried a pool of tears. “It’s over” she whispered to herself. The next day she built some confidence and started doing some ACL exercises and she always reminded herself about her dream so she would keep it up all day. Soon Emma was able to run and sprint. She was secretly training and getting better. But one night her mum saw her training and she got growled at but she begged her mum to let her play so her mum let her. Emma got scared when she was up against her rival team on the first game back but she persevered and got the confidence to play and she was playing as captain of her team. She played her hardest and with the help of her team she scored the winning goal and won the game 1-0. After the game a man wearing the france teams girls football shirt asked Emma if she wanted to play for France at the Fifa women’s world cup. She was overjoyed and immediately accepted. Emma packed her things and blew goodbye kisses to her friends and family and headed straight for the france training grounds. She made great friends and close relationships with coaches. She loved it there. |
I like how you explained experience and how she did before entering the would cup and how you explanation was quite fun to read and taught us a good amount about her
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This was a very inspiring piece of text and I think you did a good job of executing the story
Your blog is well structured and great to read and it gives a good idea of what kind of person the main-character. Next you could improve on the wording of the sentences to make it more clearer.
I like how the layout of the paragraphs made sense when read it.
I also like the text that you chose it was very inspiring
Something you should change is the theme for the you blog sites as it was very difficult to read.
Good work Liako! Keep up the good work I love the part she felt like she was dreaming and never wanted to wake up good work Liako.
You did a good job on this writing piece, the detail is really good and effort into of the paragraphs.