On Tuesday 15th November a bunch of kids from the Gardens school came to my home. They were all wanting to pet me and touch my fluffy wool but that day Before i had gotten shoren it was the worst experience of my life. They grabbed my chin and turned me upside down and then they used these weird sheers and they cut my fluffy wool and then all my fluf gone in a matter of minutes. Then they threw me down a shot to the rest of the flock and then we all talked about the scary people who took our wool away. We heard the cows laughing at us because we were wooless. They went “moo moo”.
We went to the pasture where we had delicious grass and pellets me and my friends billy, jack and Joelle we were like dude its so hot like if we had all that wool so we were glad to have all that wool gone we went to the horse next door and asked him if he was overheating in his massive coat of hair. “Horse” oh man its hot im like in Mali.
“Sheep” we went to see the cows having milk. We asked the people if we could have milk. They said you’re too old for milk, you’re 9 months old and need to eat grass. We had grass in dissatisfaction. At 9:30am we were chased by a ravage dog. I believe that the breed of the dog was a sheep dog. And this man picked up Jensen and put him in a pen and then he had a piece of grass up his nose and it had this liquid on it.
We were eating our grass in peace then all these kids were screaming because a peacock named Lilly was doing a show. It was so boring but they liked that more than us so we retaliated and went “sheep” baa baa baa baa baa… after that they came and fed us grass. Then they went to the fat pig and were taking loads of pictures of them.
Then the black fat pig named Jeff escaped and we were baaing and the cows were mooing the turkeys were gobbling and. The ducks were doing nothing but eat grass. Then these students went to the un-shored rams to see if they would let them touch them. Then they ran away then this girl ate grass like that’s for us, not you.
We went on eating our grass and then we went on this bridge in the middle then we ate and ate and ate and then we slept.
Great piece of writing! Love the paragraph about Jeff, practise re reading your blog to see if things make sense, have correct spelling and ur I by itself is capital (I) not lower case (i) (In the first paragraph) other than that ka pai!