prom!
*today mason talk to me*
Mason:After school should we get ice cream at 4:00pm?
Shaz:omg sure i’ll see you there mason
Mason:ok
*4:00pm and mason was waiting for shaz but she hasn’t arrived yet*
Mason:bro where is she? It’s 4:00 pm and she hasn’t arrived yet. Where is she?!
*Mason got a call from the police they said to come to the hospital now!*
Mason: ok!!!!
*Mason came to the hospital and tries to find shaz then he find her and he got shocked*
Mason:SHAZ!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOO
*wakes up*shaz:where am i?
Mason:shaz your awake are you ok
Shaz: yeah i’m okay but where am i?
Mason:your at the hospital because you had a car crash
Shaz:Wait what! Ow that hurts
Mason:it’s okay i’m here oh yeah i also got you a surprise it’s a bell so when i put it next it to you You tap it then you’ll see what’s
happen
*shaz taps the bell see what happens mason get some chocolate*
Shaz: oh my gosh a chocolate thanks!
Mason: I know it’s your favourite
Shaz: yeah it is
The End
9 replies on “writing competition”
Very nice writing SHAZ. I love how you used stage directions in your play. I also love how your writing is all lay out. One think you could work on is maybe explaining how you had a car crash. But besides that I love your writing.
bro you said prom this is just you going to the hospital rewrite
what is this rollplay roblox besides i love your writing
this story is very interesting and I love the plot twist
Hi Shaz, this is an amazing blog! I like how you labeled which character was talking, that made it really easy to understand. I also like how you added ** when a character was doing something. Maybe next time, you could add more punctuation, such as capital letters. Otherwise, great job, this was a good blog!
Hey Shaz, please don’t take this as an offense but… I’m not sure if this is a prom play or just u in a hospital?
Cool story, but it comes off as more of a play/fanfic. Not too sure what to comment on.
Nice work Shaz,
I like how you had very good punctuation, I love the use of explanation marks. But maybe next time you could add speech marks around the text were the people are talking.
AMAZING STORY, sad that you got hit by a car, glad you were okay!
nice shaz .But maybe you could fix somethings like instead of saying omg because omg is used in texting and not story telling but I loved the story keep it up.
This pice wasn’t very long but it showed all the steps of what happened. I really liked how you included stage directions as it is a great feature for a play. One thing to work on is to add a title at the beginning to ensure the reader knows what they are reading about. But I could tell that this was a play as it had stage directions and characters. ka Pai!