Writing comp piece 3.0

Dear Mr luxon

The damages that have been caused by the disastrous cyclone gabriel have destroyed many of our infrastructure, so saying this I would like you to develop our infrastructure to standards that could hold up to such catastrophic events.

This has affected many of our industries such as agriculture, which could potentially affect New Zealand’s tourism and our natural landscape, or as I prefer to say natural beauty.

Now this isn’t the only thing, many kiwi homes were destroyed affecting heavily on places like hawkes bay, and not just this, we come under the ring of fire which creates a risky hazard for volcanic events.

So that is only some of the effects, we also have to accommodate more kiwis and the lack of money creates more and more gangs which really influences crime rate and this would make a big dent in your country’s economy.

Now that we have gone through alot of these tragic stages, it is our time to shine, become the rockstar, for our economy to develop and stop crime rate from growing higher, to decrease the price of petrol and to STOP! Inflation.

From The Head of Help NZ now

7 thoughts on “Writing comp piece 3.0

  1. Hi Waka,

    Nice writing! You’ve successfully achieved the formality and appropriateness of a letter delivering to oligarchy.
    Your vocabulary is also excellent; not too simple, not too complex.

    I do feel you could use just a few more full-stops; each of your paragraphs only contain one sentence.

    Otherwise, well done! Very persuasive.

  2. This is a great letter showing the attributes of an actual letter while also talking about the troubles we have been experiencing this year. You could maybe add a bit more punctuation.

  3. Is this meant to be inspirational or not because it if it is then well done I felt like there was hope for one or two seconds maybe 3 but it was a struggle and this confirms it. But this also proves that luxin has done little for us. It was good and had amazing spelling.

    • thank you for the advice and I agree the punction was a bit off by I will work on that and adding more metaphors. thank you for the comment

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